Shang Bert

Farting on the Plane

2010-05-07T05:51:00.000+08:00

brain fart that is.. ever since i saw the movie "big", i like eating
baby corn. i like doing my own laundry. i like the smell of clothes
that were dried by the sun and wind. i like folding my t-shirts my
own special way. i like drinking sprite and water. and milk. drank
a lot of milk when i was a kid, something i attribute to my height
now. but the milk in china tastes odd. never really been a huge cola
fan, except to mix with hennessy or crown. i like shanghai. a. lot.
but i also like southern california, it will always be home. just
wish the plane ride wasnt so long. one day, i'll return. for good.
maybe. i've lived in two of the four places i've always wanted to
live in. the last 2 could probably be combined for a twoferone. im
honest. i say what's on my mind. i have opinions. sometimes (most
of the time) i lack an inner filter. you can see how this might have
gotten me in trouble in politics; probably why i got out before i lost
my sanity or got recalled or both. i make decisions. always been
baffled about how some people are incapable of making decisions. i
get along pretty well with just about anyone. i think people anywhere
are never separated by more than three ___, four max. amongst chinese
people, its two or three at most. i forgot that word, dammit its
gonna bother me for the rest of the plane ride. i've never let petty
shit bother me. except sometimes. my sisters know how to push my
buttons, and sometimes i know how to push theirs. they are my best
friends. i still really like daft punk. saw them twice in concert.
great great shows. i live in an old shanghai lanehouse. not sure if
its really a lanehouse, but its a house in a lane, so whatever. i
like the people and culture around me. it fascinates me. people who
have lived there most of their lives and then me. they like to stare
at me, but not in a bad way. i think theyre just interested in who i
am, what im doing there. one of these days, ill wake up early enough
and ask if i can join in on their morning exercise. or maybe hang out
with the old men in the warm summer evenings drinking beer and
speaking shanghainese. except i dont know shanghainese. just sit
there and smile. i curse a lot. in english. still learning chinese
cursing. when i first moved here, the worst thing i can say is "you
are a very bad man" or "you are a rotten egg", since they don't
understand 'fuck you'. not exactly phrases to express mock anger. i
dont think people in china actually get angry.. much of it is mock
anger. more like they're mad/annoyed b/c of "loss of face". i hate
driving. yes i know, born and raised in LAish. car culture. nobody
walks in LA. seriously, its nice to not drive. i dont even know what
radio stations in LA are good anymore. i really liked indie 103.1,
but they went belly up right before i moved to china. and arrow 93
was gone awhile ago. i hope LA isnt too foreign to me. or is it me
who has changed? i dont understand carbon offsetting or credits.
isn't everyone still polluting exactly the same, except that some
people are getting really rich by selling the credits to polluters so
that they can advertise that theyre saving the planet. well since
for the most part i havent driven for almost 1.5 years, does that mean
i can drive a dirty diesel emitting bulldozer when i get back to
socal. you know to make up for all those carbon credits ive saved up
by not driving? i like helping people, volunteering to serve the
community. always been active. found a good group of folks in
shanghai that like to do the same. its exciting that i get to shape a
"club" (for those who live in china, you will understand why i called
it a club and not an organization) in its infant stages. people learn
from each other and feed off our collective energies. its pretty
cool. hope that it never gets too administrative top-heavy and lose
its focus of helping people. ive been involved with something like
that in the past, and pretty much everyone gets really disillusioned.
i hate that feeling. degrees of separation. finally thought of it.
whew.

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

P L A & the voice

2010-05-06T21:35:00.000+08:00

So finally the Expo has started in Shanghai after an eight-year wait
or whatever it was. There were a few things in the weeks leading up
to it that was deserves mentioning. I love the Shanghai metro
system. It's way more convenient than anywhere in the US (NYC?), way
cleaner than anywhere else I've been to in the world (haven't been to
Tokyo), and way cheaper than any big city anywhere (except Beijing,
but that city and the metro system sucks shit). I used to take the
subway everyday, but ever since I started my current job (an 8-minute
walk from home to work), I don't take it nearly as often.

Two weeks before the Expo, I decided go to the gym after some heavy
weekend partying. Right before I enter the station, there's two P L
A (P eop le's Lib era tion Ar my) so ldie rs standing out front
"guarding" the entrance. I first thought something was wrong, so I
asked them if I could go in. No response, but other people were going
in. Anyways, I find out that every Metro station entrance in Shanghai
has two P L A so ldi ers out front. Think about it. I'm not sure
how many metro stations there are. There are 12 current subway lines,
with about 20 stations on each line, with on average 5 exits per
station. That's a lot of P L A so ldie rs. I guess they have to do
something, since there's no current conflicts or wars that the country
is in. Might as well be providing a false sense of sec ur ity to the
good people of Shanghai.

Two more things I noticed about the metro. The automated voice used
to say "The next station is People's Square. Please alight from the
left side." As someone fluent in American English, it used to bother
me that the voice said "alight". I mean really, who the fuck says
alight? But after awhile, I just stopped noticing. Recently, the
voice changed "alight" to "exit". Ahhh... makes much more sense. The
other thing the voice changed was "interchange" to "transfer" as in:
"The next station is Changshu Lu, transfer station to Line 7. Please
EXIT from the left side."

Maybe these changes were made to appease (yeah right) the large influx
of foreign tourists to the Expo that wasn't made for them. More about
that later..

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

Pukey Dude

2010-05-06T21:32:00.000+08:00

Only 4 more hours to go. I think this is a 12 hour flight. I've been
awake for most of it, which is not good, b/c I'll pass out at lunch
later with my parents and sister. Just gotta survive the weekend.
Probably won't be drinking as much/at all since I have to drive and
also I'll still be jet-lagged. I puked earlier on the plane. I think
it was the first time I've ever puked on a plane and (hence) first
time I've ever had to use the puke bag for puke. It wasn't really
puke though, it was just food that I had just eaten came up. I think
airline food is too salty, so it all just came up. Yes, I was the
asshole who was making pukey noises while other people around me were
trying to enjoy their lovely rice and noodle meals. Anyways, I'm
going to request the "low-sodium" or "vegetarian" meals from now on to
avoid being that pukey dude.

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

food critic for ghetto dummies blog

2010-05-06T20:45:00.000+08:00

so yeah about those food critics that i mentioned in the last post. my next blogging idea is to start a bog called "food critic for ghetto dummies". here in shanghai, theres a few expat magazines that (imo) get really REALLY carried away in their restaurant reviews. half the problem is that some of the reviews are submitted by readers, so i think they try to write impressive reviews so that they will get published. so in this post, i will write an example of an over-the-top food review, then i will provide what a food review from the "food critic for ghetto dummies" blog would look like.

them: tucked away in an old, tree-lined french concession lane, restaurant X was a pleasure to enjoy. the interiors were magnificent. the wooden floors were made from old pirate ships that were salvaged from the mythical city of atlantis. the tables are zero carbon and the silverware melted down from qing dynasty iron pots. the romantic ambience was aided by soft green-friendly, locally-sourced lighting. the servers were friendly and spoke 65 different languages, and their clothes were made from cage-free unicorn fur. i ordered the chops de pork. it was served with a luscious mushroom cream sauce, which i paired with a wonderful vintage wine from the 1600s. i also ordered a plate of sauteed to perfection free-range, organic, free-trade, and of course zero carbon bread. the LEED Platinum certified bathroom had a delectable design of porcelain, ceramic, and stainless steel. and blah blah blah

food critic for ghetto dummies: food was good. good value. would come back.

basically, the food critic for ghetto dummies blog would answer three basic questions.

was the food good?
was the restaurant a good value?
would you come back?

boom. done.

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

ph-blogging?

2010-05-06T19:45:00.000+08:00

finally got a chance to update this blog. been an infrequent blogger, this i know. was thinking on the plane that i dont take enough pictures in shanghai. one reason is that my camera sucks shit b/c ive dropped it multiple times, but the other reason is b/c its just a simple point-and-shoot and the quality leaves much to be desired. i may need to upgrade my camera soon. still thinking about starting a photo blog, but some photo blogs only take pictures of food. i can never remember to take pictures of my food. im usually too busy eating it. plus youre basically telling the world that youre a huge wannabe food critic douchebag. anyways came across a really cool photoblog recently run by my buddy. check it out -- www.phogger.com

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

on my way to work..

2010-04-27T11:48:00.001+08:00

the things that i see on my way to work..

i live really close to my office. i mean, really close. a brisk 8-10
minute walk, or a 3-5 minute bike ride, and i'm there. i know i
haven't blooged enough about where i live. its on a classic old
street, but really close to a sub-major metro station. very
convenient to everything. i live on the 1st floor of an old lane
house with old shanghainese people all around me. they've probably
have lived in that small community for their whole life. i still get
odd stares sometimes. and they're really nosy. but that's fine, i
can use an extra pair of eyes on my place as i'm not at home that
much. anyways, i'll touch upon my living situation more later.

this morning, i swear i saw kanye west. if kanye west is my height,
then yes that was him. walking on my street. but since i think he's
an arrogant asshole, i didn't say hello. walking a bit further, i saw
an old man come out of a hair salon while still wearing the apron. it
looks like he just got his hair dyed jet black. b/c it looked like he
was wearing black concrete on his head. he was talking on his cell
phone and trying to get on his bike at the same time, while still
wearing the hair salon apron. kinda funny.

my current apartment is the 3rd place i've lived in shanghai. 1st was
the dorm room, 2nd was the apartment on huaihai zhong lu with the
terrace, and now the old lane house. when i was looking for my 2nd
apartment, i almost signed a lease with an apartment that's a few
hundred feet away from my current office. its on yanqing lu, this
cool little street connecting changshu lu and the 5-street
intersection (fumin, xinle, donghu, changle, yanqing) it was the size
of a studio apartment. small living area, narrow kitchen, and a small
front yard with a huge palm tree. the landlord wanted 7,500rmb a
month. back then, i was still kinda ignorant about average rental
prices in shanghai. i was still using an LA rental prices as
comparison (huge mistake). 7,500rmb is about $1,200, and i thought it
was a reasonable price to live in the thick of things. i really liked
the place, but thought i could get less rent elsewhere (true).
ultimately, i didn't sign on.

good thing i didn't. first, the rent was way too much. the landlord
was trying to make a killing on ignorant laowais like me. my current
place is pretty comparable, has more sunlight, and nicer neighborhood,
and i pay WAY less than 7,500rmb per month. second, apparently
others felt this way too. whenever i would pass by, i would stop in
and take a look. the place sat empty for a long time, and may still
be empty. third, and this is most important, there was a little small
room connected to the apartment that faced yanqing lu. it wasn't part
of the rental space though, i think the landlord might have used it
for storage. apparently, about a month or two ago, he decided to rent
out that small room and a local eatery moved in. so now everyday that
little eatery with about 3 tiny folding tables inside is open from the
crack of dawn to the late evening, packed with loud chatty people.
had i moved in, i would be awaken every morning with the cacophony of
high-decibel shanghainese and the persistent odor of grease. i'm
really glad i didn't move in. whew, felt like i dodged a bullet there..

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

Douchbaggery is not limited...

2010-04-17T13:27:00.001+08:00

to just French people in Shanghai. Now the French-created "sport" of
parkour is invading Shanghai. Read here http://www.cnngo.com/shanghai/play/jump-shanghai-parkour-745026

Great. Now, not only do I have to avoid buses, trucks, cars, taxis,
scooters, bikes, and slow pedestrians; but I have to look out for and
avoid parkour people jumping over street signs or bouncing off phone
booths when I'm out and about town.. Wonderful. Really.

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

CNY Video Update

2010-02-14T16:15:00.001+08:00

After two failed attempts at uploading the CNY fireworks video footage
onto this blog (apparently the files were too large, and my free
blogspot account doesn't allow for files that large), I uploaded the
videos onto my Facebook page instead. So go see it there. If you're
not an FB friend, then I don't know what to do.. Read my blog post
again and use your imagination.. :)

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

CNY Fireworks

2010-02-14T04:21:00.001+08:00

Wow, I mean wow! First of all, happy new year everyone! 2010 is the Year of the Tiger, and it came in with a bang, literally. Fireworks and firecrackers all around. So let me rewind. Saturday the 13th was new years eve, and leading up to the day, there were firecrackers exploding sporadically around the city, but nothing over the top. About 7:30pm onwards, the city slowly went nuts. Someone once told me that Chinese people turn into pyros during CNY (Spring Festival), and thats totally true. I was at a friends house for dinner, and they live on the 28th floor. I went out on the balcony and someone had just put a box on the street of fireworks that shot up to pretty much where we were. It was weird looking down on fireworks, instead of looking up. So yeah, a box of fireworks. Imagine a box of about 2.5 feet high and wide. Inside, there's about 15 tubes. In those tubes are fireworks that shoot up 25 floors or so. Apparently, these boxes are readily available b/c everyone had them. Heck, fireworks are made in China, so they didn't have to be transported too far.

And you know, back in the states, in order to watch these fireworks, people usually pack into a high school football field or a baseball stadium. Or like July 4th in DC, fireworks are shot off from the Potomac, while people are at a safe distance away. Not here. People walk out to the street, put the box there and light it. And keep in mind, I live in the middle of the city, so there's houses and buildings all around. No matter. Or they shoot them off from their apartment terrace. Basically any unobstructed space will do.

After dinner, I met up with some friends on at the bar of the top floor of a hotel around my house. There we had a perfect view of Pudong's Pearl Tower and the Bottle Opener, with fireworks exploding all around. At 11:45pm, almost on cue, it started snowing. No kidding. A little past 11:50pm, we headed up to the helipad on top of the hotel, maybe now about the 43rd floor, out in the open. (How did this happen? Let's just say we know the right people.) So I'm standing there, it's snowing, we have a 360 degree view of downtown Shanghai, and everything around you is exploding with fireworks. The sky was lit up with blue, green, red, yellow, gold, silver. It was crazy. Just crazy. Absolutely one of the top 5 moments in my life. Standing there and reflecting on how awesome it was. I tried to post videos, but apparently the file is too big. I'll figure out a way to do this. In the meantime, please enjoy the 2 blurry pics.

By the time, I left the bar almost 2am, visibility was near zero. Smoke from the fireworks had pretty much blocked everything out. From the top floor bar, there was a 50ish-story building right next to us. We couldn't see it.

When you think about it, the wildest thing was that this wasn't some government sanctioned event where fire officials are coordinating the launching of fireworks. It was just local people who had a box and decided to light them. And from 11:30pm to about 12:30am, it was a lot of them that decided to light them all at once. And they're still lighting them. It's pushing 4am as I write this, and there's still explosions outside. Apparently, this will go on for another few days. But I'd like to think of it as the sound of awesomeness...

I really love Shanghai!

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

My 1-Year

2010-02-11T17:06:00.001+08:00

Today is my 1-year anniversary of living in Shanghai! Yeah, it's
already been one year of adventures in Shanghai. Time has sure flown
by that's for sure. It's been fun and there's so much that I want to
blog about but usually forget once I get back to my computer. I
should carry around a tape recorder. Or one of those flip camera
things, so I can video blog. Well, I was thinking, even though I've
been here a year, there's still some things that I haven't done. So I
compiled a short list of "top5 things i havent done yet in shanghai".
Here goes...

5. I have never used a pay phone in China. Come to think of it, I
can't even think of the last time I used a pay phone in the states.
But yeah, I think you have to use a phone card here or something. Not
sure where they sell it. Maybe convenience stores. Cell phones are
cheap enough, so I just use the celly cell.

4. I have never been to the post office - "China Post". Most of the
time, in the states, I just go to the post office to deliver a package
domestically, but since I don't really know too many people outside of
Shanghai, I don't need to do that. I don't even know if you need
stamps or will Comrade Mao pay for your letter? I doubt it though.
They nickel and dime you for everything here.

3. I have never watched a movie in a movie theater here. I know it
costs 70 rmb (about $10) for a ticket, and Tuesdays is half price.
But seriously, when perfect quality DVDs cost 12 rmb (about $1.50),
why go to a movie theater? 'Nuff said.

2. I have never taken a Huangpu River cruise. It's something that
most people do when its warmer, but it's just something I've never
gotten around to. I will for sure soon though. I have been on the
ferry a few times, but that's not exactly like the river cruise.

1. I have never drank BAIJIU. I keep hearing horror stories about
baijiu. It's this local alcoholic spirit that's really nasty, or so
I'm told. I've smelled it before. It smells like a strong household
cleaner. So the taste is probably something similar. Some friends
use it to clean their toilet or disinfect stuff. Yeah, been living in
Shanghai for one year and have never had baijiu.

So there you have it. My "Top 5 I have never in Shanghai.." list.

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

cheap books

2010-02-05T19:59:00.001+08:00

i dont know if ive already mentioned this before, but you could buy
popular english language books for next to nothing here. its usually
on the weekends, people sell books (mostly business or current affairs
related titles) out of their bicycles or scooters outside of subway
stations. for example, you can get freakonomics or thomas friedman or
malcolm gladwell or harvard business review books for 7-20 rmb per
book. sometimes they have fiction books too, like dan brown or the
devil prada whatever its called. books are priced not by popularity
or nytimes best seller charts, but by how big they are. the bigger
and thicker the book, the more expensive it is; and vice versa. its
easy to build quite an impressive library for a fraction of what it'd
cost in the US. needless to say, these are basically copies of the
real books itself. all the content is real and exact. not sure if
this is what thomas friedman had in mind when he wrote "the world is
flat", which by the way costs 15rmb, or a little bit more than $2.

anyways, my whole point is, that today one of those book sellers
showed up outside of my subway station. so i took a look. guess what
he had? lonely planet china! seriously! i didnt ask how much, since
i already have one, but still, he could be a great source for rip-off
lonely planet books. i wonder if he also carries time out guides (my
favorite).. ill have to ask him next time..

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

2010

2010-01-18T15:08:00.002+08:00

Welcome to Shangbert 2010! I know I haven't blogged in awhile. It feels like I say that every time I start a new blog post. That's b/c I don't actually blog that much.

I'm in Hong Kong right now just visiting. My camera just broke, so when I figure out how to get the pictures off that and into my computer, I'll blog some more and include pictures and words and stuff like that.

Going back to Shanghai tomorrow via Shenzhen. Looking forward to getting back to flat land.

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

In case you were wondering..

2009-12-10T14:29:00.001+08:00

what kind of stuff I talk about with my friends online.. Here's a revealing sample. (shangbert in blue, friend in red)

Ex-Laker and tower of integrity A.C. Green says he believes that Tiger's drive to succeed might be what brings him through this mess. "The thing about him is that he is a great competitor," Green said. "He has a history of coming back from behind, and I think that will serve him well." @ 2:14 im sure tiger likes to come from behind 2:14 lol 2:14


hahahaahaha @ 2:14 time and time again

I've been not liking Eldrick Woods, even before it was cool to not like the guy. A great golfer, yes. Perhaps one of the best ever, yes. Faithful husband, no. A whiny bitch, who will whine and whine when things don't go right for him, yes. I can't respect that. I also can't respect the fact that he doesn't play in tournaments/golf courses that he can't win; which is not to say that he can't win anywhere. (He has certainly won enough majors to prove that point.) Anyone check when the last time he played the PGA tourney in LA? And when the last time he did play, he dropped out due to "flu-like symptoms" b/c he was so far behind and wasn't going to make the cut... Yeah, true competitor, my ass.

Anyways... just sayin'...

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

Dear Smug-ass Prius Owners,

2009-12-08T00:20:00.001+08:00

All of you need to read this. You think you're soo environmentally
conscious by driving a Prius and should get benefits that other car
owners don't get, such as driving alone in the carpool lane in CA,
free parking, or government tax incentives/rebates. Well, have you
ever wondered what your car battery is made out of and where it comes
from? And what has happened to those areas of the world that has
produced the material to create Prius car batteries? Yeah you need to
read this -- http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/asia/article6946038.ece
And then maybe, ditch your car and ride a bike or walk or take the
subway instead. Like me.

Sincerely,
Shangbert

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

UC Irvine = Cutting Edge

2009-11-30T13:34:00.001+08:00

So glad to see that my BA degrees are getting more valuable as time
goes on. First, UCI created a new law school and named a well-known
Dean. Now, the university has created a "game science" major for
undergrads. Basically, the study of video games and gaming, and
working with industry professionals. Anyways, I've included the LA
Times link below. Go Anteaters!

http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-uci-video-games30-2009nov30,0,2091559,full.story

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

OIC? Only or Obama...

2009-11-27T13:08:00.001+08:00

In China? As many of you erudite readers know, Obama was in Shanghai
last week while on his Asia tour. His stop here included a "town hall
meeting" where the audience was composed of students from nine
different universities in Shanghai. It was hyped up by the Western
media b/c it was an opportunity for Chinese students to openly
question a leader of a powerful country and that it would plant the
seeds of democracy blah blah blah whatever. Except that the questions
were pre-screened (by Obama's people or the Chinese, I'm not sure) to
make sure nothing too controversial was asked. So it ended being
stupid questions like "Mr. President, which tourist sites are you
going to visit in China?" or "Do you use Twitter?" I would've asked
how he could openly accept the Nobel Peace Prize while simultaneously
consider ramping up troop numbers in Afghanistan and not keeping his
campaign promise to end the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and close
Guantanomo, but I digress.

Anyhow, the point of this blog post was that one of the bigger items
to get picked up by the Chinese media wasn't anything Obama said or
didn't say. Instead, some of the coverage was focused on a smoking,
hot chick taking off her winter coat behind Obama. Check it out http://shanghaiist.com/2009/11/26/obama_who_shanghais_town_hall_has_a.php
and http://www.chinahush.com/2009/11/24/mystery-woman-in-black-behind-obama-at-the-town-hall-meeting-becomes-popular-then-speaks-out/#more-3608

Only in China does the American President come to visit and the media
focuses on a hot chick sitting in the audience instead! China is
becoming more and more like America everyday....

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

Freshly Killed

2009-11-09T01:37:00.001+08:00

I just murdered a baby lizard that I saw in my bathroom. I think it
crawled in through the bathroom window, since the windows in my
apartment don't have window screens. That was gonna be another blog
topic, but I never got around to blogging about it. I will at some
point soon. I emptied about a quarter canister of Raid on it. But I
still haven't given it a proper burial; its carcass is currently
underneath a Skippy peanut butter jar lid. Fuck, now I don't what
other small reptilian animals are scurrying about my apartment. Now
I'm kind of glad that I'm moving out soon. More on that later.

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

Super Junior

2009-10-19T17:22:00.000+08:00

I knew that all 2 of my blog readers were loyal fans, but I really
didnt expect this. How did you know that I was going to Shangdong
Province today and flying out of Shanghai Pudong Airport in the
morning? Thanks for bringing the screaming women and the neon signs
to send me off (albeit just for the day). har har just kidding. So I
was at the airport earlier this morning and while standing in line at
the passport check, all of a sudden I heard a bunch of screaming women
all running towards something and they were holding signs and flashing
neon lights. it was weird. but apparently, someone named "super
junior" was arriving at the airport with his adoring fans waiting for
him or her.

only in china.

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

Tom Campbell for Governor

2009-10-12T17:42:00.000+08:00

I know I said I wouldn't get political on my blog, but I just read a really great article about a Republican candidate for CA Governor (that I am supporting) written in the Leftist Agenda (LA) Times. It's such a rarity that I'd thought I would copy and paste it into this blog (that's supposed to be about Shanghai related stuff), before the newspaper's editors realize that the article was praising a Republican and pull it off their website. So here it is.

latimes.com/news/local/la-me-cap12-2009oct12,0,4543621.column

latimes.com

CAPITOL JOURNAL

What if Tom Campbell had money?

The Republican is not far from the California mainstream, but his race for governor needs dollars.

George Skelton

Capitol Journal

October 12, 2009

From Sacramento

Tom Campbell is one of those "what if?" political candidates with intriguing potential scenarios.

He doesn't appear to stand a prayer of winning the Republican nomination for governor, let alone the job of chief executive itself. But what if:

* Voters in the Republican primary next June are looking for a new governor who doesn't need training wheels, who could get up to speed from the start and has been leveling with them about the precise routes he'll take?

* Campbell's two mega-rich GOP competitors -- former EBay chief executive Meg Whitman and state insurance Commissioner Steve Poizner -- commit murder-suicide in a bombardment of TV attack ads? That's what Democrats Al Checchi and Jane Harman did in 1998, allowing under-funded Gray Davis to win the party nomination.

* He does manage to become the Republican nominee? Many political pros think that the centrist Campbell would be the strongest candidate against either probable Democratic offering, state Atty. Gen. Jerry Brown or San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom.

* Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger provides Campbell with a priceless ballot title: "Lieutenant Governor"? The office is expected to be vacated soon. The incumbent, Democrat John Garamendi, is favored to win a congressional seat in a special election on Nov. 3. His replacement would be appointed by the governor. Campbell was Schwarzenegger's finance director in 2005 and the two share similar ideologies, if not styles.

Have they talked about the lieutenant governor's job? "I'm going to keep my conversations confidential," Campbell told me, hinting that he had.

One huge problem, however, with the scenario of an LG appointment: It would have to be confirmed by the Democratic-controlled Legislature.

"Campbell is the Republican who scares us the most," says Bill Cavala, a former Democratic operative for the state Assembly who's now managing Garamendi's campaign. "Not in a thousand years would we breathe life into such a dangerous candidate."

OK, that in itself would be a gift: Campbell would get a lot of news media attention. And after Democrats rudely rejected him, he could appeal to Republican voters by railing against Sacramento's incessant hyper-partisan politics.

But Campbell, 57, rarely rails. More commonly he lectures, like the longtime professor -- law, economics, business -- that he is when not representing Silicon Valley in Congress or the state Senate. He also has run twice unsuccessfully for the U.S. Senate.

Nobody I've talked to gives Campbell much chance of winning, for three basic reasons:

First, and most important, he's a political pauper. He'll be greatly outspent by Whitman and Poizner, who can dig into their own deep pockets for campaign cash, and are doing it.

Second, his personality isn't exactly rock-star quality. He comes across as the smartest kid in the class, and he usually is. He's highly articulate, very polite, often smiles and seldom frowns, but he isn't someone voters would naturally warm up to unless they're fellow wonks.

Third, he may seem too centrist for GOP activists, who lean far right and greatly influence party primaries.

But he's holding his own in the early competition.

A Field Poll released last week showed him essentially tied with Whitman among Republican primary voters. The results: Whitman 22%, Campbell 20%, Poizner 9%. Whitman ran strongest among voters over 50. Campbell led comfortably among those under 50.

But half the voters were undecided and most had no opinion of any GOP candidate.

In general election matchups, all three Republicans trailed Democrat Newsom -- Campbell less so. Brown clobbered everyone.

Few people are paying attention. But Campbell's still pumping out eye-glazing specifics, including these:

* Taxes. He won't take the "no tax" pledge because that would "handcuff" a governor. He wants "flexibility." In fact, he proposed a one-year gas tax increase to balance the state budget rather than borrow and raid local treasuries.

But, he says, "I'd far rather lower taxes. And you should lower taxes when you've lowered expenditures, not the other way around, or you're just creating a budget deficit."

He wouldn't touch Proposition 13, the property tax break.

And he thinks a recent blue-ribbon commission headed by investor Gerald Parsky was "on the right track" when it recommended a totally new "business net receipts tax" to replace the corporation and state sales taxes. That's because it would tend to tax consumption rather than income.

* Marijuana. He's against legalizing and taxing it. "That would be absurd because the federal government won't permit it." Besides, he adds, many marijuana distributors also peddle meth. Legalizing pot would set up an easy money laundering scheme for "very, very dangerous people."

* Budget. Cut back all social spending -- on healthcare, welfare and the aged and disabled -- to the national average.

And ask Washington to allow California to take all the federal and state money spent on healthcare for the poor -- $42 billion -- and permit private insurers to compete to provide the care. That could save $8.6 billion, he asserts. The feds probably wouldn't agree, he admits, "but one has to try."

* Water. He'd call for help from the so-called god squad, a federal panel that could exempt the Delta smelt from endangered species protection and pump water back into San Joaquin Valley irrigation ditches. He'd transplant that tiny fish to another body of water.

Long term, he'd heighten Shasta Dam, develop an off-stream reservoir and build the controversial peripheral canal around the delta. He'd also emphasize conservation and encourage desalinization using clean, economical nuclear power.

* Other stuff: He favors same-sex marriage and abortion rights. He opposes offshore drilling and demoting the Legislature to part-time. He's for an open primary.

Call him a fiscal conservative and social moderate -- not far from the California mainstream. Nobody's going to agree with all his views, but he should get points for not playing dodge ball.

What if that's what voters want next year? Naw. Even if they did, he'd still need money to be noticed.

george.skelton@latimes.com

50 Reasons

2009-10-07T00:22:00.000+08:00

Saw this on Shanghaiist and wanted to share this article with the 1-2 people that actually read this blog. Nonetheless, here are the 50 reasons why Shanghai is the greatest city on earth.

http://www.cnngo.com/shanghai/play/worlds-greatest-city-50-reasons-why-shanghai-no-1-590704

Shanghai Triatholon

2009-10-07T00:18:00.000+08:00

The other day I was the gym on the cardio machines and while there are
little televisions for each exercise machine, more often than not, the
TVs dont work, are blurry, or stuck on some CCTV channel showing some
boring soap opera. So it was quite a pleasant surprise that on this
particular day and at this particular time, a triatholon was being
shown. I like watching sports while working out. Hell, I like
watching sports anytime. I'm not sure where the event was being held,
but I'm pretty sure it was somewhere in the states.

So that got me thinking. What if Shanghai was to hold its own
triatholon? (I'm pretty sure I'm spelling that word wrong, as the
dotted red line shows up each time I type it that way.) I have
absolutely no clue if Shanghai already has a triatholon, and if so,
apologies in advance to the coordinators of such an event. So
basically a triatholon is swimming, biking, and running - in the
order. There's some distances involved but I don't know what they are
and frankly in the discussion, it doesn't really matter.

Where would a hypothetical Shanghai triatholon be held? And what TIC
(this is china) hijinks would occur? Here's what I think.

The logical choice for a body of water that's central and a showcase
location to Shanghai to swim in would be the Huangpu River, which
divides Puxi and Pujersey (well actually Pudong). But then, the
Huangpu River is pretty gross. The water is chalky brown. No sane
person would want to swim in the 'Pu. You could come out with an
extra eye or maybe in the process of forming another leg growing out
of your neck. Chances are good that you will swim over/through/past
some rotting corpses. But let's just say for arguments sake, that the
swimming portion of the event was held in the 'Pu.

The next event is biking. And there are plenty of very scenic biking
routes in Shanghai. Go from The Bund to People's Square, then over to
XTD and west through the French Concession, up to Jing'An and Suzhou
Creek or down to the Puxi side expo site. The route isn't the
problem. I would envision the problem to be that there would be
either 1. no bike to ride b/c it would be stolen or 2. the
participants would lose a boatload of time trying to unlock their bike
or getting through city traffic. First, imagine a whole bunch of
swimmers running out of the 'Pu to discover the area where their bikes
are supposed to be is totally empty. Yeah that would be Shanghai.
If your bike isn't locked to something or to itself, it's good as
gone. Or the second scenario. There probably would be signs at the
city's busiest intersections informing motorists that a race is coming
through and that they shouldn't drive between certain times. Like
anyone would give a shit. The triatholon bikers would soon bike head
on into impossible traffic conditions. More than a handful of bikers
would be hit by a bus, a taxi, a scooter, a truck, other bicyclists,
or all of the above. And as soon as one traffic accident occurs, 40
shanghainese people will surround the scene screaming at each other
and figuring out who is at fault. If you're a foreigner (which all of
the triathletes probably would be), you are automatically at fault.
Time to get back on that bike and ride like the wind.

BUT LETS JUST SAY FOR ARGUMENTS SAKE that the triathletes were able to
complete the swimming and biking events without a hitch. Running
would be the last event. At this point, I think the route could begin
in Puxi then head over one of the bridges to Pudong and run to either
PVG (the airport) or to the East China Sea. Like I stated before, I
don't know the official distances of triatholon events and it really
doesnt matter. The running would be hard work. B/c there's streets
in Pujersey that are unfinished and are either dirt roads or are
blocked off for no apparent reason. Or new highways or bridges that
have no start or end. So on a map, it may look complete, but far from
reality. By this time, there would be just a few triathletes
remaining. If you've been in the race this long and manage to finish,
everyone should get a prize.

This may sound like I'm bitching about Shanghai, but I'm really not.
I just wanted to bring up the worst case and most humorous (and
totally hypothetical) scenarios if a triatholon was to be held here.
I sure do love this city!

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

I'm Back

2009-10-07T00:17:00.000+08:00

I'm back. Look for more blog posts to Shangbert. Even though
blogspot is still blocked, I feel that I've got much to opine about.

Eclipse Reaction

2009-07-22T09:58:00.001+08:00

Ok so I was initially skeptical of the solar eclipse in Shanghai this
morning, as evidenced by my previous blog post. I guess I had good
reason to be skeptical. First, it was rainy so you couldn't see the
sun. Second, this is China and China tends to hype up good stuff and
tone down the bad stuff. (I don't think I need to further explain
myself here.)

So yes it was raining and still is. But the solar eclipse was kinda
cool. It was pitch black for about 5 minutes. Which is just like
night, but none of the street or building lights were turned on.
Probably should've hauled my ass over to Nanjing Dong Lu or The Bund
to experience total darkness, but oh well. I enjoyed the eclipse with
the local folks downstairs.

I'm sad that I didn't get to use my nifty eclipse glasses. I'll just
save it for the next total solar eclipse. I think that will be in
year 2132, when I will be 154 years old.

No big deal.

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

Solar Eclipse

2009-07-22T09:26:00.001+08:00

There's supposed to be a solar eclipse right now in Shanghai.
Supposedly, it's a big deal b/c stores have sold out of eclipse
viewing glasses and people are scrambling around looking for them. (I
just got a pair at Coffee Bean this morning for free, but whatever.)
And it just so happens that today is kinda rainy, and it's dark
anyways b/c of dark rain clouds.

So I'm not sure if it's dark b/c its raining or it's dark b/c of the
solar eclipse. In about 10 minutes, it's supposed to be totally dark;
but is it dark b/c its raining or b/c of the SOLAR ECLIPSE? You can't
see the sun either way, so maybe I'll just go back to sleep. Oh well.

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

My Gift to Shangbert Readers

2009-07-17T17:44:00.000+08:00

This is a historic post. Why? B/c it's my first post as a 31 year
old, a newly minted 31 y/o. Yes today is my birthday and I do
sincerely appreciate everyone who has sent me birthday wishes. So I
was thinking that I should do something for all (probably 2 or 3 at
most) of the loyal readers of the Shangbert blog. Below is my gift to
the readership!

Let me explain. I've posted about haircuts in China a few times, and
have bitched and whined about it even more on Facebook. Even though
the haircuts here are cheap about 10 kuai (around $1.30), the barbers
are terrible. I've always kinda wanted a mohawk, just to see what
it'd look like. I tried the feaux-hawk awhile back but couldn't
really rock it too much. Could you imagine sporting the feaux-hawk
while serving as school board president and trying to run a hectic
school board meeting? Yeah probably wasn't gonna work. So hey it's
my birthday weekend and I needed a haircut anyways, so why the heck
not. Enjoy!

I'm convinced...

2009-07-13T00:51:00.001+08:00

that Shanghai clubs just play one mix CD throughout the night and that
the DJs are just bobbing their heads, pressing buttons and pretending
to mix. I've heard the same exact mix at 3 different clubs (not that
I go to clubs a lot. in the past week and a 1/2 or so, stopped by 3
of them b/c 1 farewell party, 1 of out-of-town friend visit and 1 b/c
I was already drunk.) And these are like mostly expat-targeted clubs
(M1NT, Bar Rouge, M2) too, so the quality should be a bit better,
right? I don't know all of the song titles in the mix, but they
definitely include Show Me Love by Robyn S (this song is so old that
it came out when I was in high school) and Billie Jean by Michael
Jackson (which of course everyone goes nuts b/c that freakshow just
died).

I don't really like clubs in the first place, so maybe I'm more
observant of music selection than other folks and more willing to
"tiao mao bing" (translated: identify problems). This is why I'd
rather grab a 25kuai mug of Tiger beer at Time Passage and chat with
the shao kao dude (translated: chinese bbq guy who grills skewered
meats). But that's just me.

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

Facebook Blocked

2009-07-10T14:17:00.001+08:00

I know it's been forever since I blogged. Access to blogspot has been
blocked since mid-May or so, and even though I can continue posting to
the blog through email, I can't actually check for comments or edit
the blog, so basically it's sapped my desire to do anything with the
shangbert blog.

Anyhow, Facebook, which survived the blocking of other social
networking sites leading up to and after the may 35th anniversary, has
just been blocked this week (tuesday afternoon to be exact) b/c of the
stuff going on in xinjiang province. At first, I felt like my right
arm had been cut-off. Most of the time I spend online is on Facebook
or latimes.com/sports, and maybe sometimes google news or yahoo
sports. I wanted to hold a dinner at my place with friends this
Saturday and use Facebook invites to get the word out, but now I
can't. I guess you don't realize how much you depend on something
until it's gone. There's a lot of FB friends, where I don't actually
have their personal contact information. So oh well. I'll have to
find another weekend to host a dinner party.

And don't even get me started on youtube, which has been blocked since
April. There's nowhere I can go now to watch hilarious clips of
Family Guy. You have no idea how important that is to my daily life.
Just kidding. Still, it'd be nice to access youtube again.

Other than Great Firewall issues, my lifestyle in Shanghai is pretty
cool. I'll touch upon that in a future post. Hope everyone is well.

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

Haha

2009-06-09T12:55:00.000+08:00

My FB friend posted this and I found it funny, so I thought I'd share
it with all you loyal Shangbert readers.

A Chinese farmer is walking through his fields when he notices a
backpacker drinking from his pond with his hand.

The Farmer yells out, " 别喝! 牛有大便在水里！"
("Don't drink! The cows have shit in the water!")

The Man shouts back, " I'm an American! I don't understand Chinese.
Speak English !! "

So the Farmer says, " Use both hands! You'll get more! "

Blocked

2009-06-07T23:59:00.001+08:00

So some of you loyal readers of Shangbert might be wondering why I
haven't blogged in a few weeks. Turns out access to blogspot was
blocked in China a few weeks ago, and since then I've kinda lost the
desire to blog, even though I can still create new posts through an
email address that I set up; I just can't see them. Last week, in
preparation for the 20th anniversary of that thing that happened in
Beijing, pretty much everything else was blocked too. Twitter (which
supposedly caused an uproar in the tweeting community), Hotmail (thank
goodness I don't have hotmail), Flickr, Microsoft's Bing or Ying or
whatever it's called, and of course YouTube has been blocked since
April.

I probably miss youtube the most. Not only was it a great source of
hilarious Family Guy clips, but I can also watch news and political
speeches on it. Now nothing. Well anyways, hopefully it'll come back
soon, but I ain't holding my breath.

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

Dalian in a Day

2009-05-19T18:09:00.000+08:00

**This was supposed to be posted last night, but I forgot the email
address for remote blogging. I apologize to my one fan of this
blog.**

So last week while daydreaming in class, I mapped out a quick trip to
Dalian and Beijing. Dalian is the 2nd largest city in Liaoning
Province (known as Manchuria pre-1949) in northern China, and at the
tip of the Province, surrounded by ocean on two sides. Originally, I
had planned to stay in Dalian for 2 nights (Sun-Tues) and then fly to
Beijing and stay for 3 nights (Tues-Fri), but after arriving yesterday
morning from Shanghai, I quickly learned that Dalian is not a 2-3 day
destination.

Dalian is a large city with not much touristy things to do. The side
of the city that I stayed on was where the ports are located. Also
where Zhongshan Square, Youhao Square, and Labour Park is. I was done
with those 3 places in about 2 hours. That side of the city is kinda
like Oakland or Long Beach. Port cities, but not much else to do. So
I went back to my hotel and planned my escape. Since I used ctrip.com
to book the flights and hotel, I called them to make the changes.
Easiest experience ever. Have you ever tried to change travel plans
on expedia or orbitz or travelocity? You either cannot or you get
penalized a boatload.

Changed my flight to today (mon, 5/18) and cancelled the 2nd night of
the Dalian Hotel. No penalty. Was supposed to pay an 86rmb
modification fee to Air China, but they didn't ask at the airport, so
I didn't pay. Shh.. Yeah, changing a flight here costs 86rmb, which
is about $12usd, wow! What's Southwest and JetBlue charging now?
$50? I think United is at $150 now. And you bet your ass that they
won't forget to collect from you.

Anyways, back to Dalian. The other side of the city is where the nice
beaches and views are. My plan was to check out the beaches in the
morning, take pictures, chill, etc then hop on a 5pm flight to
Beijing. I asked the hotel staff how to get around -- by taxi it would
be about 100rmb total, but then I worried about the availability of
taxis (or lack thereof) in these touristy areas. I could also rent a
private car for the day for 400rmb. Ehhh... that's a little bit too
much, and since I wasn't in a rush, I went with the taxi option.

There's a few places that Lonely Planet listed -- Tiger Beach,
Beichuidao Beach, Xinghai Square -- worth checking out, but as soon as
I climbed into the taxi, the driver had other ideas.

(all in Chinese)
Him: "I will take you all around for 150rmb."
Me: "No. Please take me to Tiger Beach. Here look at my map."
Him: "Ok, I can take you to Beichuidao as well, it's very beautiful.
And I will wait for you and stop whenever you want, so you can take
pictures."
Me: "No. Please take me to Tiger Beach."
(so this back and forth went on for awhile. him pointing at where he
would take me. me insisting on going to tiger beach. all of this,
while he was weaving in and out of morning traffic.)

Finally, I asked how much. He said we can use the meter and then add
20rmb to the total, to charge me for stops. That sounded acceptable.
The hotel said it would be about 20rmb to Tiger Beach, 40rmb to
Xinghai Square, and then about 30rmb to the airport. That's about
90rmb total, but then I would have to find another taxi each time I
stopped.

Now, if you're expecting a horrible Chinese travel story, sorry to
disappoint. The driver turned out to be pretty cool. He even played
tour guide as he explained the history of the area and stopped at all
the picture-worthy sites. And my instinct was correct. Each time we
stopped, there were about 2-3 groups of tourists that mobbed the taxi,
hoping to get the heck out of there. So yeah, I may have spent a
little bit more money (I think I could've negotiated down to 120 rmb
flat rate. Halfway into the ride, he turned off the meter. I
could've complained, but I didn't want to annoy him and be dropped off
in the middle of nowhere.), but I had peace-of-mind by not worrying
and fighting with other tourists for scarce taxicabs.

So yeah, the other side of Dalian was beautiful. Almost like Monterey
and the central CA coast. Complete contrast to the port-side. I'll
post pictures when I get back to Shanghai. In the end, Tiger Beach
really sucked. It was some cheesy Sea World knockoff. Probably
better compared to Marineland than Sea World. And the driver
(surname: Chun) knew some off-the-Lonely-Planet-path places he took me
to for better pictures than the average tourist.

So this whole adventure took up the entire day and I barely caught my
5pm flight? Nah. Started at 10am, and arrived at the airport at
11:30am. Ha! Switched (for free) to an earlier flight to Beijing.

Just in case you're wondering, here's the "Shangbert Planet" tips for
Dalian-in-a-Day.

-- Arrive about 10am into Dalian.
-- Cab over to Youhao Square. About 35rmb.
-- Walk over to Zhongshan Square, passing Youhao Square and its big
ball in the process.
-- Pick up food along the street somewhere and eat in Zhongshan Square.
-- Should be about 12pm. Call a cab somewhere.
-- Neogtiate with cab driver to take you around to the other side --
Beichuidao, Tiger Beach, Xinghai Square. About 100rmb.
-- About 2-3pm. Ask cab driver to drop you off at Labour Park. Take
cable　ｃａｒ　ｔｏ　ＴＶTower -- 50rmb. Take pictures. Another 50rmb to go up
the Tower. I didn't find it worth the price so I didn't go. Take the
slide down the hill. Yes, it's a slide. You ride a little car that
you can control the speed. It's pretty fun.
-- Should be about 3-4pm. Go rest somewhere, walk around, or shop.
-- Find a food street and eat for cheap.
-- At dusk/early evening, walk over to Zhongshan Square again and
check out the crowds that have gathered. There's a group of college
students playing Chinese hackey-sack. There's some dog owners
gathering. There's also an impromptu Chinese jam session playing
traditional Chinese music. That was very cool. Lounge around the
square listening to music, enjoying the cool sea breeze.
-- Cab to the airport (35rmb), with plenty of time to catch your
9-10pm flight out of Dalian!

I should totally be a travel writer.

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

Springtime in Shanghai

2009-05-10T22:19:00.004+08:00

the picture above was taken today on xingguo lu in the former french concession. it was about 90 degrees today, but absolutely beautiful.

the picture below was taken in February while it was still frigid outside. i never would've imagined those barren trees would sprout green leaves that quick.

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

100 RMB

2009-05-10T22:07:00.003+08:00

In the recent City Weekend (a bi-monthly magazine in Shanghai), there’s an article about living on a 100 RMB per week. 100 RMB is a little less than $15 US. In an informal survey of some friends, most people said that they couldn’t do it. But I actually think I could. You have to keep in mind that the cost-of-living here is in some respects less than LA or New York or San Francisco. Don’t get me wrong, there’s expensive parts of Shanghai, where you could most easily spend a couple hundred US on dinner or go to a bar and spend Vegas prices on drinks.

But then there’s still the local places that have dirt-cheap prices. For example, today I ate a full lunch for 8rmb. I had 12 dumplings for 4rmb and a plate of cold, spicy noodles for 4 rmb. Seriously. I was stuffed full for just over a dollar. The same meal would be at least $7-8 back home. And yesterday I had 12 XLB’s for 8rmb, which were really good. (Unfortunately, I forgot to bring my camera out yesterday, so no pictures there.)

I think I can go at least one week on 100rmb. I would eat cheaply (no different from what I already do) and just drink beer at home, instead of a bar. Living on 100rmb would also mean not taking any taxis, but that’s ok b/c I can ride my bike or walk, hence improving my health too!

Not that I’d do it, but I know if I had to, I could.

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

Bluetooth Subsidy Act..

2009-05-03T15:47:00.002+08:00

does not exist in Shanghai. I thought that the CA law that banned talking on cell phones while driving (aka Bluetooth Subsidy Act) was a further step towards a "nanny state", where big government would pry into every part of your private life in order to control every one of your actions. It basically penalized good drivers for some stupid people who probably shouldn't be driving or even be insured in the first place. But typical CA legislature overreacts and passes a punitive law that pretty much became a corporate/taxpayer-paid subsidy for Bluetooth hands-free products. So after the law passed, you would see people wearing those annoying Bluetooth devices around their ears, b/c they were just so damn important that they needed to wear it like some gaudy, look-my-ear-is-blinking-blue-lights accessory. I also don't think the highways became that much safer b/c I think people falsely believed that they were driving safer when talking with one of those devices.

So anyways, my whole point is that in the 3ish months that I've been here in Shanghai, I haven't seen one person wear one of those Bullshit-tooth devices. (And of course, the xenophobic American media response would be: b/c Chinese citizens are too poor to buy cell phones, aren't allowed to own personal automobiles, and b/c the government doesn't allow personal wealth and people live in squalor and poverty. All, which of course, is horse shit, but I digress..) It's kinda refreshing actually to not have to see people talking to themselves while walking down the street.

So in conclusion, which place doesn't allow its citizens to talk on their cell phones while driving?

A) California
B) China - the "communist" country

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

Yo!

2009-05-03T15:18:00.001+08:00

Can-Do Spirit

2009-04-20T19:21:00.007+08:00

One thing that really attracted me to Shanghai (and to China, in
general) is the can-do spirit that people have around here; which is
contrary to popular Western beliefs that Chinese people are
continually oppressed by a heavy-handed Big Brother type government.
For example, I've seen small restaurants and stores pop-up literally
overnight around here.

Such actions would be next to impossible, say for example, in
California. Think of how many different public agencies you would
have to get a permit or approval from just to begin the process of
building your business. And while some of the public agencies have a
very specific and well-meaning purpose, such as health and safety,
most of those agencies could probably be consolidated or streamlined
into one or two public employees. I've heard from friends who have
tried or have started businesses in the City of Los Angeles that you
need to secure approvals from at least 13 different agencies/departments/
commissions/etc before being able to operate your business, and that
some of the agencies require pre-approval from other agencies before
they can even act upon your request. And of course, none of the agencies ever talk to each other so the right-hand of bureaucracy never knows what the left-hand is doing.

Obviously, all this unnecessary red-tape wastes a lot of time and
money on the part of the business owner. And after going through the
whole song-and-dance, there's no guarantee that you will receive any
of those 13 different approvals. And then politicians and bureaucrats
who create these maddening regulations wonder why businesses are
fleeing California.

So back to my original point. Tonight as I walked around Panyu Road
on my nightly quest for dinner, I noticed a small food hole-in-the-
wall selling something. The last time I walked around here was last
Friday afternoon, and it wasn't here yet. Someone asked the lady when
she opened, and she said this morning. So basically in the span of
about 2 weekend days, a small food place was able to open for
business. Another example occurred when my sister visited a few weeks
back. When she arrived, there was a restaurant near her hotel that
was pretty much filled with rubble. The restaurant was up and about
to open for business -- booths, tables, cash registers, kitchen,
restroom, large sign outside, lighted menus, etc all done -- by the
time she left 6 days later.

I'm willing to bet that Shanghai can put up a skyscraper faster than
any city in the LA region can put up a retail shopping center. Even entertaining such a thought sounds ridiculous, but that is the state of business in California, and I'm fairly certain that I'd win that bet.

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

Worst Shampoo Ever

2009-04-18T00:57:00.001+08:00

A few years ago, I went through an Herbal Essences (HE) phase where I
bought almost every H.E. brand product available. I specifically
liked the shampoos and hair gels, and it didn't hurt that Proctor &
Gamble would offer "buy 1 get 1 free" coupons in the Sunday paper
every few weeks or so, making it that much more affordable. B/c of
the coupon deal, I ended up with a whole bunch of HE shampoos. One of
them was called "no flakin' way", which for your edification purposes
is pictured above. Since I had never seen this shampoo before, I
decided to buy it since it was only about $1.25 per bottle after using
the coupon.

I used it a few times, and then discovered the Whole Foods brand
Everyday Value 365 Herbal Mint Shampoo and fell in love with that,
thereby shelving my remaining HE shampoos. Before leaving for
Shanghai, I decided to take a few HE shampoos with me, since my
parents probably wouldn't use it and thus would sit in their house
untouched until I returned for a visit or for good.

Quite possibly, "no flakin' way" is the worst shampoo on Earth. Not
just the worst shampoo in Herbal Essences' distinguished hair product
line-up, but the worst shampoo ever. My hair never felt quite clean.
But true to my frugal and waste-not-want-not ways, I did manage to use
all of it, and I'm so glad to be moving onto the next HE shampoo -
"degunkify" - my favorite shampoo before it was displaced by the above-
mentioned Whole Foods brand. Not sure what I'll use after I'm done
degunkifying; the local markets here do carry HE products, but I'm
tempted to try out a Chinese brand instead.

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

Last Call

2009-04-12T16:45:00.000+08:00

Back home in LA, last call at clubs/bars is usually around 1:30am,
since alcohol sales is cut-off at 2:00am (California law). B/c of
that, I've trained my body to shut down around 2:00am b/c once
alkiehall is cut-off, I go home or get late-night tacos in downtown or
detox at some Chinese cafe in Alhambra or Monterey Park. And LA bars/
clubs usually get going around 10:30-11:30pm in anticipation of the
1:30-2:00am cut-off time. Simple concept enough right?

Except in Shanghai, I don't believe "last call" actually exists. So
this poses quite a problem. B/c there's no last call, SH nightlife
doesn't get going til past midnight or so. Even with the time
difference, my body knows when it's time to (2:00am-ish) to call it a
night, but that don't jive out here in the S'hai. So I find myself
often pooping out around 1:30am, right when the nightlife is about to
pop. It's quite a humbling experience; going home Charlie-Brown-sad-
song-style when party-people are still arriving.

Sad clown indeed.

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

$0.58 Haircut

2009-04-08T19:55:00.001+08:00

I got a haircut today for 4 kuai, which is less than 60 cents. And
basically I got 4 kuai worth of effort from the barber, who was a
young high school aged kid with some crazy, dyed Asian pop star like
hairdo. I honestly don't think it's that hard to cut my hair, but I
may have been spoiled from my barber back home that I've gone to for
the last 25 years, give or take. I'd tell him make it a zero fade and
take some off the top, and 5-10 minutes later, I'd be outta there.
Here I gotta use my kindergarten Chinese, and attempt to describe what
I want. Basically, I told the kid I want the same style but just make
it shorter.

Next time I go back, I'm going with the Asian David Beckham look that
I sported last summer. It's gonna get hot soon and it's a hell of a
lot easier to describe with my shitty Chinese, so why the heck not?

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

Squatty Potty

2009-04-07T18:04:00.001+08:00

I've been to a few clubs here in Shanghai since I got here and when I
was here for a brief time last November. Normally, I only like
clubbing if I'm in Vegas. (I haven't been to Vegas in 3 years, b/c I
don't gamble, so basically I really don't go clubbing all that much.)
Anywhere else, it's just not worth the money or the effort. But every
once in awhile, you get sucked in when your friends say that there's
some open bar dealio for just 50 rmb (approx $7+) and then you find
yourself at some terrible club with terrible music and terrible people
dressed terribly. So like I said, I've been to a few clubs in Shanghai.

If I'm not too intoxicated, I'll notice the decor around me. Some
clubs are designed with an air of luxury and sophistication in mind.
Glass chandeliers, marble floors and countertops, metal stools with
puffy seats, crystal mirrors, velvet couches, impeccably dressed
employees, etc. Then you go to the restroom and all the nice stuff
ends. Unisex restrooms that smell like a combination of fresh poo,
stale piss, and chinese incense. Add insult to injury, the toliets
are squatty potty style.

So my question or rather rhetorical question is "WHY?" Why go to that
much trouble loading up your club with all that nice stuff just to
ruin it with such poor quality restrooms? Would it honestly have cost
that much more to install a few urinals and sit-down toliets rather
than the squatty potties? I just don't understand sometimes. Mark my
words, if I ever open up a bar or restaurant in Shanghai, there will
never be a squatty potty in my establishment.

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

Sister #2

2009-03-27T12:16:00.002+08:00

Sister #2 is here! She arrived last night from a harrowing 15+ hour flight from LA. Harrowing, b/c she decided to fly (against my recommendation) Northwest Airlines. I'm of the belief that you don't order a hamburger at a Mexican restaurant. Just like you don't fly a US-based airline to Asia. It's no secret that I'm in love with Cathay Pacific Airlines. Them and Singapore Airlines may be the best airlines in Asia. There's a reason for that. They take care of you. The flight attendants are nice and attentive. There's a lot of extra amenities: in-flight entertainment, endless snack bar, enough leg room for people over 6 feet tall, etc etc. It's probably also b/c (I'm assuming) that Asia-based airline flight attendants are not unionized. Another example of how labor unions ruin everything. Fly any US-based airline and you will get the bare minimum of customer service, b/c that's all their union contract requires them to do. Why do more when you don't have to and can't get fired? And then people wonder why the US economy is in the shitter and why the big 3 needs a massive taxpayer bailout.

Anyhow, back to Sister #2. I will be playing tour guide for the next few days. It will be fun. I may even blog and post more pictures now that she's here. We'll see.

2222-2222-222

2009-03-16T17:22:00.003+08:00

You must be wondering about the blog title. Back home, there's this personal injury lawyer that advertises on the back of buses with his phone number that consists of all 2's. Or it could be another number, I kinda forgot. B/c some SH numbers have 11 digits (such as my mobile phone), I changed it to correspond to my current environs. Har.

Anyways, I don't know enough about Chinese laws yet, but I'm pretty sure there's no such things as personal injury lawsuits or ADA compliance. Honestly, if you were in a wheelchair out here or even crutches, you'd be pretty much fucked. I haven't seen any wheelchair ramps or elevators to get into subway stations, onto pedestrian bridges, into restaurants, department stores, apartment buildings, etc etc. That stupid ADA-compliance bastard in California who makes a shitload of cash suing restaurants and municipalities for not being ADA compliant would probably be sentenced to a labor camp out here, if he tried to pull that petty shit out here.

And with personal injury lawsuits, I don't think they exist. B/c for the past few weeks, it's been raining like crazy. I mean like Noah's Ark kinda crazy raining. Back home, anywhere you go there would be carpets or mats set out so you can wipe your feet down so you don't slip, fall, crack your head open, and then proceed to sue the shit out of the place for negligence. Yet, here nothing. No mats, no carpets, nothing. Just be careful and don't slip. And if you do, it's b/c you weren't careful and hence entirely your fault.

If you stop and think about it, it makes sense. It's about personal responsibility, a concept that I think some Americans have a real hard time comprehending and dealing with. I'm sure Larry H Parker or the 222 dude would disagree with me, but whatever this is my blog so fck you.

Peas out.

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

Benny Benanas!

2009-03-16T16:54:00.002+08:00

I know, I know I haven't blogged in a long ass time. There's no excuse for such flaking except that I've kept a busy social calendar in Shanghai. So I apologize to my friends who are living vicariously through me and that are now demanding for new posts. Creative genius cannot be rushed...

So before I start on regaling about Benny Benassi last Friday, I just gotta say that it's nice to finally have the sun come out and get warmer here in SH. So I biked over to Cotton's which is a in/outdoor bar near me. Enjoying their 2-fer-1 happy hour with a few black labels and smoking a nice Cuban cigar, while blogging on the Macbook and listening to my iPod.

Ok so anyways last Friday night I went to check out Benny Benassi at Bar Rouge with a friend. Bar Rouge is this really fancy schmancy bar/club on The Bund, which is this really bougey area of SH. Not really my scene, but I don't expect Benassi to DJ at the neighborhood dive bars that I like. Needless to say, it's also a foreigner magnet. I saw Benny Benassi at Coachella a few years back and he was really good. He's a pretty famous Italian DJ. You've probably heard his DJ mixes before and just not known it's him. (See being in China, my Engrish has already regressed.)

So he finally comes on around 1am-ish. Place is packed, I mean elbow-to-elbow with sweaty drunk foreigners. He's speaking into the microphone and welcoming the crowd. "Where's my Italian people at?!?" A deafening roar of all the Italians there! "Where's my French people at?!!" And again, all the French people in the bar go nutso.

Then he says "Where's my Chinese people at?!?!" I swear to the gods that the place falls silent, like absolutely silent. You could've heard a pin drop on carpet. I think I might've heard some crickets chirping in the corner. So of course, I start yelling "YYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!" I realized that I might have been the only Chinese person in the bar that wasn't a bartender or washroom attendant.

So yeah, in the States I was a perpetual minority. I move to Shanghai, go to a bar, and I'm still a gawddam minority. Go figure..

Peas out.

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

Sprint Mystery

2009-03-01T22:30:00.002+08:00

I can't figure this out. Maybe y'all can help. So I kept my American cell phone and brought it out here, primarily b/c I have a lot of phone numbers of family and friends, but b/c it's Sprint and Sprint phones don't have SIM cards that you can take out, it doesn't work in China. So basically it has two purposes. 1. phone numbers, and 2. it still has the time and date of back home, so i know what time and date it is back in LA, since i can't always subtract 16 hours and figure out the time. (Despite my ethnicity, math was never my strong point in school.)

So I have my phone on Airplane Mode, meaning that the phone service part is off, meaning that the phone won't automatically start searching for a signal, which is perfect b/c there is no signal it can connect to. Or so I thought. Last week the battery finally died, so I recharged the phone. When I turned the phone back on, it displayed the current time and date of Shanghai. Whoa, wait up yo, what the fck?

I can't understand why my US-based Sprint cell phone that is not accepting any phone signals or service is displaying the current time and date of my current location. What's going on?

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

ps. Yes, it is the same phone as Agent Moss in this season's 24.

Leatherish

2009-02-25T18:56:00.003+08:00

So I ate tonight at this little Chinese place near the gate of SJTU's Pan Yu Road entrance. I go there quite often, since it's close and cheap, and the cashier lady now recognizes me and says hello. (First time, I went in about 2 weeks ago and she was kinda cold b/c I asked her what food is served there, since I don't know how to read the menu. But now since I'm a quasi-loyal customer, she's much nicer.)

Anyhow, point of the story is, that the ladies who you give your receipt to, so that they can tell the kitchen what to cook, was wearing, get this, leather pants tonight; or at least like fake-ish leather pants. Like why would an older lady who works in the back of a busy, cramped, steaming hot Chinese kitchen all day want to wear leatherish pants to work? Did she wake up this morning and be like, well hey it's Wednesday/hump-day and I wanna be kinda stylish today, maybe a modeling agency rep will walk into my neighborhood eating place and notice that I'm wearing these stylish pants? Or did she think maybe a foreign SJTU student will come eat dinner here and while waiting for his food notice that I'm wearing leatherish pants, and perhaps compliment me? Hmmm....

Fuck, I forgot to compliment her. My bad.

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

McPink Dot

2009-02-22T00:42:00.004+08:00

i think the cold weather in shanghai reminds me a lot of washington dc. and of course, when my east coast friends read this post, they'll be like "you're an idiot, dc is not even that cold." growing up in southern california, anything below 60 degrees is pretty cold. i mean, don't get me wrong, temperatures in the LA area can get below 50 or 40, but i'm just saying i get cold when it's under 60. anyhow.

the cold here is a lot like dc. its a humid kind of cold, meaning that there's always moisture in the air. and it sometimes gets really windy. you can walk around for awhile, and never warm up. it kinda sucks. the longer you walk, the colder you get. ive also started hunching b/c i put my head down when walking to avoid the wind or the rain. so that will probably shave off another few years of my life.

not much going on this weekend. bought some knockoff "jeff spicoli" vans today for 80 rmb. and finally surrendered to mcdonalds and had a fish fillet and 2 taro pies for dinner. and get this, mcdonalds even has a 24-hour delivery service! like pink dot, but its mcdonalds. or is it, mcpink dot.

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

sh rox

2009-02-20T01:33:00.003+08:00

so i went out ngiht. it was pretty fun. met up with a friend at cantina agave, and had a few beers while waiting for her. 3 coronas. the coronas out here are more watered down than back home, weird as that may be. the food was great. the had lengua just like the la taco trucks. teh nachos were enough for a large group of people. bought some dvds aftereards -- rachel getting married love anne hathaway and superbad which is a great movie to quote from -- and then went to a whiskey bar called bar constellation. had an old fasioned. for some reason, no bar out here has makers mark, which is a shame bc makers mark rules. so had it with candaian club instead. then went to laris, on the bund, for 2-for 1 martini night. had 4 martnis. they were tasty. saw someone who knew me back when i was a school board member. fuck thought i had moved halfway across the world to get away from that. dammit. she was cool, we had a good convo met her friends who were also really cool. then came home. wher eim tryping where i cant seven see straight let alone type correctly. gotta wkae up in less than 7 hours, wish me luck

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

Fried Bruce

2009-02-18T22:55:00.003+08:00

So I was walking around last night looking for a place to eat. And since I needed to buy tape at the store afterwards, I wanted to eat somewhere close by. So that's why I didn't go to my usual place, where the lady who works there, now knows that I have a Suntory beer with every meal. Anyhow.

I was trying to look for this place that my friend recommended, but it was raining and there was road construction, so I conducted a quasi-search and couldn't find the place. (Note to self: I need a really detailed street map of SH in English and a color metro map.) I thought about surrendering to McDonald's, b/c there's one attached to the store, and b/c in all honesty, their pineapple and taro pies (like the cherry and apple pies in the US) are pretty tasty. But I was on the other side of the street, and would've been a pain-in-the-ass to get to across the street. This was also where I had witnessed the scooter dude get flattened just days earlier. So yeah, fck that I ain't jaywalkin.

I had two options; go to a place called Babela's Kitchen that looked like it served ham and corn pizza or the Bruce Lee restaurant. I was in the mood for some fried chicken so I entered the dragon. har har. For some reason, I thought Bruce Lee was slangin' fried chicken. Don't ask me why, it's probably b/c I can't read Chinese.

No fried chicken, but some boring looking Chinese food, as evidenced by the picture above. That meal was 22 rmb and sucked. Fish was kinda bland. Rice was soggy. Boiled cabbage was good though. I could've gotten a better meal at the little place by my dorm, and I could get beer too!

Dammit Bruce, I thought you sold fried chicken!

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

3 cards

2009-02-18T22:31:00.004+08:00

So my wallet has just expanded in size and not b/c it's full of Mao's money. I have 3 different cards from SJTU and every card obviously has a different purpose. The card on the left is my student ID card, and really doesn't have any other purpose but to show that I'm an SJTU student. The card in the middle is my cafeteria debit card and also my library card, and it costs 20 rmb. And finally the shitty looking card is my shower card. In order to use the showers here, you need to stick that card in a small machine-like thing by the shower, then the water turns on. Of course this being China, the card also tracks how long you use the shower for. And once you run low on credits, you can recharge the card. I don't know if it costs anything to recharge, though I wouldn't be surprised if it does.

And of course, there's quite a heavy fine if you lose any of the cards listed above.

Basically, my whole point is, why don't we just have one card for everything? The student ID card serves no purpose whatsoever and could be consolidated into the food card. I mean, that's what UC Irvine had for its student ID card when I was there for undergrad. It can't be that difficult. And the shower card could be consolidated into the food card as well, you can just buy credits for everything, instead of separate credits for food and shower. And plus, the university can save money from not having the extra material costs of plastic cards, and additional labor costs.

Oh well, just thought y'all like to know...

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

Empty Handed

2009-02-18T20:18:00.003+08:00

Today I decided to head over to the Qipu Market off the Baoshan metro stop. I spoke to a few guys in my dorm that were raving about the place. How they found good quality (fake) Nike Air Force 1 shoes for 85 rmb, which is like $12 and change. How one could find sweatshirts and jackets for next to nothing. And on and on and so forth. And since I need a pair of basketball sneakers, I decided to head out there and have a look-see for myself.

On the walk over there, I saw people with bags and bags of their loot, presumably purchased from the Qipu Market. So that got my Chinese bargaining juices flowing, thinking that I might be able to buy a lot of stuff. Cue Survivor's "Eye of the Tiger" song. I normally don't shop for clothes that much; back home I shop at Costco and Wal-Mart, so that's basically my fashion sense, but hey I was kinda excited b/c I might get some deals, practice my Chinese, etc etc.

So when I arrived at Qipu Market, it was a mass of humanity in every direction. I should've taken a picture, but didn't want to take out any valuables, just in case fckers scoped me out and pick-pocketed me later. Popped into the first building and walked around; all women's clothes. Shit. Popped into the building across the street, there was only one or two floors with men's clothing, which all kinda sucked and with no sizes that actually fit me. I only found one shoe store that sold really bad knock-off Jordans. Bad in both design and quality.

Basically, I thought its pretty difficult to leave Qipu Market empty-handed, but empty-handed I sure did leave.

Better luck tomorrow, I guess....

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

Accidental Clairvoyancy

2009-02-17T21:26:00.003+08:00

Literally. I met another student while helping her translate with the security guard at the front of our building. So we met up on Sunday and I took her around to some of the places that I had already been to in SH. Not that I've been to many, but definitely more than her. Just like I have the Chinese proficiency of a kindergartener, but still that's better than not speaking/comprehending the language at all.

Basically repeated Saturday but replace XTD with Nanjing Xi Lu, where I finally got my transportation card. So now I don't have to stand in the single-ticket line while pissing off everyone behind me b/c I can't find the subway station I need to go to in English. Or b/c I'm trying to shove a 1 RMB bill into the subway ticket machine (which isn't allowed).

So we were walking back to SJTU and I asked her if she would ever drive in SH. She said no b/c its not safe, and there's too many cars, etc. Then I said "well it seems like people here have their own set of traffic laws, kinda like organized chaos, but in my time here, I've never seen a traffic accident." Then literally, 2-3 seconds after I said that, we hear brakes screech and then a loud BBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!! We look over and a taxi cab has just literally flattened a dude on a motorcycle, flipping him twice. Holy shitfuck.

My jaw dropped to the ground b/c I just got done saying that I've never seen a traffic accident in SH and that the streets seem somewhat safe, etc. I hope the guy is ok, I did see him moving his leg, so he probably will hurt for awhile, but at least he's alive. So yeah, my next post was gonna be about how all the non-Americans here have had stomach problems with the local food, but you know what, I isn't going there b/c homey don't want none of that. That accident is the first and last time I want my bad "accidental clairvoyancy" to work. Hopefully, I have enough karma points remaining for some good "accidental clairvoyancy".

Peace out, home skillets.

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

Speaking of which...

2009-02-17T17:23:00.004+08:00

Hello again. I apologize to my loyal reader(s) that I haven't blogged in awhile. First, I was out and about and all over the City. Then it got too cold and I couldn't unravel myself outta the fetal position to get to my computer and blog. So, my apologies.

So on Saturday, I walked almost 8 miles around Shanghai. "Eight mile!" as in the mobile home park where Eminem lives. Nevermind. Anyhow, that was fun. Saw lots of the City and sometimes for the second or third time. I didn't eat lunch before I left thinking that there might be some affordable street-side food I can pick up. Unfortunately, in my haste of where to go, I decided to head over to Xintiandi, which is the like the last place in Shanghai anyone would ever go to get grimy, street-side food b/c there basically isn't any.

So now my stomach is growling and the juices are starting to eat away my intestines (yeah that's basically how hungry I was) and I really don't have the bankroll to eat at one of those high-class joints in XTD. Well, I do and Lawry's looked freakin' good, but something about eating at a nice place alone (while not on business) doesn't seem quite right to me. So I gave in and surrendered to the Coffee Leaf & Tea Bean. Had an awesome egg salad sandwich and a normal coffee w/o all the other crap in it. (Or as a bastardized Borat would say "I like my coffee black not.") It was pretty good. I was also quite surprised to see a lot of Apple laptops in the Leaf & Bean, since the only Apple retail store that I know of is in Beijing.

From XTD, I walked over to People's Square, then to The Bund for a view of Pudong, as evidenced by the picture above. On the way back, I decided to walk towards Beijing Road instead of Nanjing Road b/c I took the latter over to river walkway area. Yeah bad move on my part. Common sense would tell someone not to walk down a street that was under construction and apparently at that particular moment I lacked some serious common sense. As you can see from the picture, a man (not me) is walking over some large pipes and cut-up road material; that was the "sidewalk". Fortunately, I now have a good story to share. Yay.

Quick aside, if you hear in international news soon that a Chinese American male in Shanghai dropkicked an older Japanese man out of his 2nd story dorm window b/c that motherfcker was constantly making too much noise at all hours, that might just be me. I'm gonna fckin hadooken him then dropkick his ass out the window.

THE END jk

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

2 bags of Bug-liss

2009-02-13T21:47:00.003+08:00

After I checked into my dorm room, got settled, and realized that the only thing I had to eat was the 30 Oats & Caramel Fiber One bars that I brought from the U S and A, I decided to head out to the store which is not too far away. Just across the street from the main campus entrance.

It's a grocery store on the 2nd floor and a general goods store on the 3rd floor. I needed about 30 hangers and figured it'd be at least as cheap as Wal-Mart back home, where it's $1.99 for 10 sturdy plastic hangers. Well, not to be. These hangers were like one step up from the throw-away hangers that you get back from the dry cleaners, and they were about $1.50 for 5 of them. What the fuck? Is there a metal shortage in China? Has all the metal/steel gone into new buildings and infrastructure and not enough left over to make hangers? Since I kinda need to hang my clothes, I begrudgingly purchased 20 of them. I know now for sure that this store's motto is not "save money, live better."

Then I went to go look for some push pins b/c I want to hang some shit up on my walls. Since my Chinese sucks, it was pretty difficult trying to describe what a push pin is. I think the store ladies just wanted me to shut up and go away, so they pointed in the general direction of everything. So I bought some hooks instead, not sure if those will work.

Went back down to the food level and went over to the snacks section. In Asia, there's different flavors for Ruffles and Pringles. Like steak or shrimp or seaweed, whatever. But guess what, this store also had about 10 different flavors for Bugles!! Bugles! Those Klan-hood like corn snacks. Holy shit. Or as I like to refer to them as Bug-liss. I don't know why Bug-liss don't sell better in the U S and A, but regardless of that, I picked up 2 bags of Bug-liss. One was steak flavored and the other was either seaweed or sushi flavored. They both tasted exactly the same to me.

So that was my adventure at the store. They also charged 0.30 rmb for each plastic bag, but fortunately I had brought a few recycled bags from back home so in the future, I will be rocking the Wal-Mart recyclable bags in Shanghai.

$1.46 Dinner

2009-02-13T19:09:00.003+08:00

And no, it wasn't the Costco hot dog/soda special. I skipped lunch today b/c I had a large breakfast and b/c I'm not entirely adjusted to the time yet. So for dinner, I thought I'd go walk around to see what's nearby. After walking for about 10-15 minutes, I turned onto Leshan Road which seemed to be a local neighborhood food street with a fresh veggie/fruit market as well. There were many food options with menus all in Chinese, which I can't read any of it. They must not get too many tourists in this part of the City, which is good b/c I hate white people. Just kidding, that was a joke.

Pretty much every menu I looked at, I couldn't read. But if that was to stop me, then hell I'd starve to death within the next 3-4 days. So I popped into a small place and pointed at an XLB steam tray and someone else's bowl of noodles. This place also had a "Milk" movie poster on the wall, which was quite random. Maybe the owner is a strong supporter of gay rights, who knows. Or maybe he likes Sean Penn or thought the poster was advertising cow milk, whatever, but I digress.

I'm starting to notice this more as I get questions/comments from people around here. Most of the time, it's the usual -- where are you from, are you an overseas Chinese, wow you're tall, where are your parents from, your mandarin is pretty good (i know theyre lying), where did you learn to speak mandarin, etc. I haven't met enough expats to know this for sure, but I think 2nd generation overseas Chinese is still kind of an oddity here, especially those who are 6'3".

Anyhow, end of the meal, I paid 10 rmb for one XLB steamer (which was ok, not dintaifung quality) and one bowl of noodles. According to http://finance.yahoo.com/currency-converter?u#from=CNY;to=USD;amt=10 that would be $1.46! And now, I even found a shortcut, so I may be going there more often... woo hoo

Quick Update

2009-02-13T15:27:00.003+08:00

Ok so I just checked again, and only one toliet in the shared bathroom is Asian squat style. The other toliet is a regular sit-down type. I feel so relieved, you have no idea.

And here I was about to go on a holier-than-thou soapbox rant about how an emerging superpower still makes its citizens shit squat-style. Ok nevermind about that.

Whew!!

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

Score one for me

2009-02-13T14:31:00.002+08:00

I've recently started thinking about the John Lennon song "Starting Over" and it very much corresponds to my life now. I'm freaking 30, and I'm living in a dorm, in China. Remember when we were in undergrad and you wonder about those creepy grad students who've been trying to get their PhD in Comparative Ancient Luxembourgian Literature for the last 12 years, and who look way too old to be a college student. Yeah, I sorta feel like that.

So today I moved into my dorm here at Shanghai Jiao Tong University. I know in previous postings, I had expressed concern about who my roommate was going to be and how I hoped he wasn't a d-bag. Well, I woke up early, checked out of my hotel, and arrived on campus at 10am. It seems like I was the only student there to check-in. Anyhow, I figured I might as well ask to see if a 1-person room was available. No harm in asking, worse they can say is no. So I axxed, and they said (in Chinese) "yes we have one single room left b/c someone cancelled. Would you like it?" And my answer was "fuck yes!" Not in such vulgar terms, but same same.

With a 2-person room, you get your own bathroom inside the room. But with a 1-person room, you have to share toliets and showers located in a separate room a few doors down from yours. Still, I think having your own room is better than sharing personal space, etc.

The room is actually pretty nice. It has internet, a desk, a bookcase, a dresser, tv, microwave, mini-fridge, and a water dispenser that I have yet to figure out. The room is on the first floor, which means I didn't have to haul my luggage up a few flights of stairs. The room door even has a small red heart sticker with 5 yellow stars on it (similar to the Chinese flag). Aww, someone loves me. I'll post some pictures of my room when I get all my shit settled.

Speaking of shit, this is the one part of the dorm experience I'm loathing. The poo toliets are Asian squat style. I don't know if I sound like a spoiled American when I say this, but I've never pooed while squatting, and have never wanted to. Frankly, I'm terrified of squatting to poo. What if I have a particularly bad bowel movement, and going in to the stall I'm just regular Shangbert, but exiting the stall I look like the young Jamal in Slumdog Millionaire running after his favorite actor while covered in... well, you get the idea. Dammit, well at least my room isn't that far. Wish me luck...

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

Shanghai Subway Adventure

2009-02-12T21:37:00.000+08:00

So today I had a couple of to-do's, one of which was to ride the subway around and figure it out. When I lived in Washington DC, I used to take the Metro quite often until I got my car out from CA. B/c of that, I base all subsequent subway rides on the DC Metro. Here are some noticeable differences.

1. Trains in Shanghai are packed, I mean seriously packed. Imagine a packed train-car in DC and then multiply that by about 2 or 3. That's Shanghai.
2. People push and shove to get on or off the train-car. Actually, I don't really mind this. Everyone seems to accept it and frankly who wants to miss their train b/c they were the last to get on and none of the passengers want to move to let that person on. Now, people in DC generally don't push or shove, and such actions would probably warrant a heated rebuke and maybe even fisticuffs.
3. The train's color corresponds to the color of the line. So if the train runs on the purple line, then there's a purple stripe on the train, yellow line = yellow train. What a concept. DC trains all look the same, except for a small electronic rectangular area on each train that tells you which line it is.
4. It's fairly inexpensive to ride the Shanghai subway. For short distances, it's about 4-5 RMB, which is less than $1. The last time I rode the DC Metro, I think the minimum price was $1.65? I forget.

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

Get Lost

2009-02-11T18:51:00.000+08:00

So originally I planned my arrival into SH a few days before moving into dorm-life, so I can buy a cell phone, walk around the Xujiahui area, and adjust to the time difference. Well, I bought my cell phone earlier this afternoon from a China Mobile store near my hotel. It's a crappy little Samsung phone, but it makes calls and receives text messages, pretty much just what I need it for.

I'm a firm believer that in order to get your bearings in a new environment, you kinda have to get lost first, so that you know where to go or not in the future. I walked around earlier and got sorta lost, as in, I didn't find the streets on the map from the hotel, but kinda still knew where I was. (In college, I worked for a food delivery service so I'm pretty freakin' good with directions. I mean, my middle name isn't Thomas Guide for nothing.) Anyways, I'm pretty sure I walked over to Xujiahui b/c I remember reading how it's in an intersection of 5 major streets. The best thing I can compare it to is Times Square. Mind you, I haven't seen enough of this City yet, to make that qualified comparison, but thus far Xujiahui reminds me of Times Square with the bright lights, big buildings, and neon. Then again, I could've been completely lost and just happened upon some busy intersection and thought it was what I thought it was. Who knows.

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

Airport Observations

2009-02-11T08:28:00.001+08:00

Well today has finally arrived. All the moving, cleaning, throwing
away stuff, packing has come to this. Sitting on the ground next to
Gate 105 at LAX, waiting to board the plane that will first take me to
Hong Kong, then off to Shanghai. First some good news, my luggage was
not overweight. I weighed them multiple times at home and I think it
came in right at 50 pounds each. Second, some not so good news. My
lower back is fcking murdering me. Not something that I want before
getting on a 15 hour, 25 minute flight. There could be many reasons
for this, but I attribute it to the fact that I'm 6'3" and nothing
(and I mean nothing) in this world is built for me. Being tall is
worse than being left-handed. 30+ years of contorting my body to fit
in cars, small desks in school, and even simple stuff like brushing my
teeth at a counter that's way too low has taken its toll. Woe is me.
Or more like woe is my back, but I digress.

Anyhow, some airport observations. First, LAX sucks. The airport is
always under construction and it will probably never finish b/c both
the City of LA and the State of CA is running huge budget deficits.
Also, they will never finish b/c constant construction means more
jobs for labor unions. Don't even get me started about the utter
insanity of labor unions. Perhaps I'll save that for another post
where I can rant and stuff. Second, I realized that I'm now leaving
the friendly confines of the United States and will probably start
running into more douchey Euros. Look, as a minority, I know what
it's like to be discriminated against, but let me tell ya, I can't
stand douchey Euros. I actually happen to like many things Euro.
Daft Punk is my favorite band/music group. They are French. The
whole crew at Ed Banger Records - Busy P, Justice, DJ Mehdi, Feadz,
Mr. Oizo, etc - are French, I think. But they are cool. But then
there are those douchey Euros. Again, that will probably be another
post when I get my first frustrating interaction with douchey Euros.

Ok well I'm gonna save my macbook battery and perhaps blog another
post while on the plane, if I can find the time between watching
movies, eating ice cream bars, and sleeping. Ciao.

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

Doubt = Chicken

2009-02-11T05:01:00.000+08:00

Thought of a few more songs for my airplane mix cd:

Leaving on a Jet Plane -- John Denver (duh, that was an obvious one)
Jet -- Paul McCartney & Wings

That's about it for now. 2 hours, 24 minutes to Hong Kong. I think
they're supposed to serve breakfast soon. My past experiences with
Cathay Pacific Airline food has been great, but whatever I had for
"dinner" last night is not sitting well. Braised pork with mustard
sauce and potatoes. How did I even think that was going to be good?
Shoulda went with the chicken. When in doubt, go with the chicken.

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

Airplane CD Mix

2009-02-11T01:10:00.000+08:00

Signing on from 36,000 feet here and somewhere over the northern tip
of Russia and just passed the International Date Line. Just conked
out for about 7 hours. I'm in an aisle seat in a 4-seat row, and the
seat next to me is open. My travel agent is brilliant. She
recommended this seat and said when the flight isn't full, this seat
is most likely to have an empty seat. Good stuff.

As some of you may know, I make awesome CD mixes, which means I have a
very extensive and eclectic music collection. So I was thinking about
my next CD mix; songs about airplanes or air travel or flying or
similar concepts. I've thought of about 7-8 songs that I have in my
iTunes, but if you have any other suggestions, feel free to leave it
in the comments section. (Please don't suggest Dave Matthews Band's
"Crash"! That's just cruel.) Thanks!

Fly Like An Eagle -- Steve Miller Band
JFK to LAX -- Gang Starr
Daniel -- Elton John
Such Great Heights -- The Postal Service
Paper Planes -- M.I.A.
Come Fly with Me -- Frank Sinatra
Spaceman -- The Killers
Danger Zone -- Kenny Loggins (from the Top Gun soundtrack)

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

I knows how to reads, oh yeah.

2009-01-27T09:09:00.000+08:00

Once I made the decision for sure about the Shanghai move, I wanted to read as many books, magazines, articles, etc. that I could about China in general and Shanghai in particular. If you've ever visited the local bookstore (in the US), you'll know that there's no shortage of China-related books talking about the recent economic growth and expansion, business practices and strategies, new social/cultural stuff, and of course the usual xenophobic crap that denigrates both the country of China and the Chinese people, and that's aimed to fire up the average dolt by providing a scapegoat for their problems.

So here's what I've read thus far and I offer my humble opinion about each book:

-- I bought this book at the Hong Kong Airport on a layover and thought it would be a light and entertaining read. It's called "A Year Without Made in China: One Family's True Life Adventure in the Global Economy". Well, the author does get an 'A' for effort, as she tries her best to mask her xenophobic high-horse in ignorance. Not sure which one is worse. Not much research to back up her so-called "facts", just misguided observations and assumptions. And I especially "enjoyed" the fact that through this experiment, her young children now hate Chinese people not just goods manufactured in China. Profiles in good parenting, this book is not. I think this book is aimed at those who feel that China is the source of not only their problems, but all the problems in the world. This book earns a "not cool" in my book, pun intended.

-- I bought this book at the Pentagon City Borders in Arlington, VA on my way to Dulles Airport. It's titled "China Shakes the World: A Titan's Rise & Troubled Future -- and the Challenge for America". What attracted me to this book was 1. it was light-weight as I didn't want to significantly increase the weight of my carry-on bags, 2. it received the Financial Times' 2005 Business Book of the Year so I kinda knew it wouldn't spew xenophobic crap, 3. it looked interesting. This was actually a really good book and provided a solid primer for those that are truly interested in China's rise as a global economic power. Very easy to read and the author is well-versed in global issues. This book earns a "cool, gotta read" in my book.

-- I borrowed this book from my brother-in-law who owns a bunch of China-related books. It's called "China, Inc.: How the Rise of the Next Superpower Challenges America and the World". The cover has a picture of a American flag lapel pin (the ones that are often seen on politicians) in a package that says Made in China. Initially, it looked as if this book would be Xenophobia 101. The cover picture is simple yet provocative, but the book itself is a great read. Facts and figures, anecdotes, case studies abound. Definitely recommend this book b/c you know, you should never judge a book by its cover. har har har

-- I also borrowed this next book from the BILL (Brother-in-Law Library). It's called "China Now: Doing Business in the World's Most Dynamic Market". This book is written more from a practical, how-to-do-business-China perspective. It devotes a few lengthy chapters to negotiation strategies and intellectual property rights. It also provides important tid-bits of significant historical information; basic stuff that every person who's interested in doing business in/with China should know about. Also, provide a brief but in-depth view on Singapore, Hong Kong, and Taiwan and how those places relate to China. It doesn't hurt that one of the authors is a professor at University of California, Irvine, where I went for undergrad. I always thought he was a crazy lefty / perennial Congressional candidate, but apparently he has some good stuff to say. I would recommend this book, but with the caveat that some of the chapters are good-to-know but could be rather dry.

So that's what I've read thus far. I'm "reading" the "Lonely Planet: Shanghai" right now b/c I want to familiarize myself with more of the City, but I don't really consider that a book. Just something fun to read.

I got two more books in the queue. "Postcards from Tomorrow Square: Reports from China" which looks like a pretty quick read. Plus the author writes for The Atlantic Monthly, so hopefully it will be entertaining as well, or as entertaining as these books can get. The other book is "New Shanghai: The Rocky Rebirth of China's Legendary City". The words are kinda small, but there's a few pages of glossy color pictures! Yay! Now if I can only find a scratch/sniff/taste book with Shanghai-style steamed soup dumplings. I orgasmically shudder in the shear fantasy of that possibility.

If you wish to opine, please feel free to leave a comment.

Dude, why the dorm room?

2009-01-23T11:15:00.000+08:00

To continue from my first post, I'm going to be living in a dorm room b/c I enrolled at Shanghai Jiao Tong University for their "long-term Chinese refresher course". It's for a period of about 5 months. The last time I lived in a dorm-room was 1996-97, when I was 18 in my freshman year of college. Yeah this is gonna be interesting. And b/c I turned in my application on the very last day possible, single occupancy dorm-rooms were no longer available. I just hope whoever my roommate is, that he's not weird or smells like ass.

So anyways, as stated in the title thingy above, I'm an ABC. (American-Born Chinese) I can sorta speak Mandarin, but not very well. I'd like to think I'm good enough to order food at a Chinese restaurant or tell a cabbie where I need to go, but yeah that's kinda hit or miss right now. And I cannot read or write Chinese, except for my own Chinese name, numbers 1-10, and simple phrases like "i love mom" or "i love dad" or "horses are my friends".

I'd really like to improve my Chinese as a whole. My mom wants me to write a Chinese letter and fax it to her by the end of the program. We'll see about that.

First Post. Yay.

2009-01-23T10:42:00.000+08:00

This is my first blog post ever. I've never blogged before. I had a very public position a few years ago, so I didn't really want people to know what I did or what I thought in my private life. Well, that's no more. I recently decided to move to Shanghai, China and many of my friends, who are scattered around the the world, have asked me to blog about my experiences. So first, I hope that this blog doesn't get blocked in China. Second, I hope I can keep this up and actually have more than one person read this. I guess that was three hopes.

Well, I'm still here in Los Angeles while I prepare for my move in less than 3 weeks. Like any big move, this one is complicated. I have to move out of my apartment, move back to my parents house, then have about 9 days to pack-up warm clothes and other shit into two large suitcases, then get my ass on the plane, then land in Shanghai, lug my shit around the city and check into a hotel for 2 nights, then settle into my dorm room. Why a dorm room? I'll cover that in my second post.