Can-Do Spirit

One thing that really attracted me to Shanghai (and to China, in
general) is the can-do spirit that people have around here; which is
contrary to popular Western beliefs that Chinese people are
continually oppressed by a heavy-handed Big Brother type government.
For example, I've seen small restaurants and stores pop-up literally
overnight around here.

Such actions would be next to impossible, say for example, in
California. Think of how many different public agencies you would
have to get a permit or approval from just to begin the process of
building your business. And while some of the public agencies have a
very specific and well-meaning purpose, such as health and safety,
most of those agencies could probably be consolidated or streamlined
into one or two public employees. I've heard from friends who have
tried or have started businesses in the City of Los Angeles that you
need to secure approvals from at least 13 different agencies/departments/
commissions/etc before being able to operate your business, and that
some of the agencies require pre-approval from other agencies before
they can even act upon your request. And of course, none of the agencies ever talk to each other so the right-hand of bureaucracy never knows what the left-hand is doing.

Obviously, all this unnecessary red-tape wastes a lot of time and
money on the part of the business owner. And after going through the
whole song-and-dance, there's no guarantee that you will receive any
of those 13 different approvals. And then politicians and bureaucrats
who create these maddening regulations wonder why businesses are
fleeing California.

So back to my original point. Tonight as I walked around Panyu Road
on my nightly quest for dinner, I noticed a small food hole-in-the-
wall selling something. The last time I walked around here was last
Friday afternoon, and it wasn't here yet. Someone asked the lady when
she opened, and she said this morning. So basically in the span of
about 2 weekend days, a small food place was able to open for
business. Another example occurred when my sister visited a few weeks
back. When she arrived, there was a restaurant near her hotel that
was pretty much filled with rubble. The restaurant was up and about
to open for business -- booths, tables, cash registers, kitchen,
restroom, large sign outside, lighted menus, etc all done -- by the
time she left 6 days later.

I'm willing to bet that Shanghai can put up a skyscraper faster than
any city in the LA region can put up a retail shopping center. Even entertaining such a thought sounds ridiculous, but that is the state of business in California, and I'm fairly certain that I'd win that bet.

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

Worst Shampoo Ever

A few years ago, I went through an Herbal Essences (HE) phase where I
bought almost every H.E. brand product available. I specifically
liked the shampoos and hair gels, and it didn't hurt that Proctor &
Gamble would offer "buy 1 get 1 free" coupons in the Sunday paper
every few weeks or so, making it that much more affordable. B/c of
the coupon deal, I ended up with a whole bunch of HE shampoos. One of
them was called "no flakin' way", which for your edification purposes
is pictured above. Since I had never seen this shampoo before, I
decided to buy it since it was only about $1.25 per bottle after using
the coupon.

I used it a few times, and then discovered the Whole Foods brand
Everyday Value 365 Herbal Mint Shampoo and fell in love with that,
thereby shelving my remaining HE shampoos. Before leaving for
Shanghai, I decided to take a few HE shampoos with me, since my
parents probably wouldn't use it and thus would sit in their house
untouched until I returned for a visit or for good.

Quite possibly, "no flakin' way" is the worst shampoo on Earth. Not
just the worst shampoo in Herbal Essences' distinguished hair product
line-up, but the worst shampoo ever. My hair never felt quite clean.
But true to my frugal and waste-not-want-not ways, I did manage to use
all of it, and I'm so glad to be moving onto the next HE shampoo -
"degunkify" - my favorite shampoo before it was displaced by the above-
mentioned Whole Foods brand. Not sure what I'll use after I'm done
degunkifying; the local markets here do carry HE products, but I'm
tempted to try out a Chinese brand instead.

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

Last Call

Back home in LA, last call at clubs/bars is usually around 1:30am,
since alcohol sales is cut-off at 2:00am (California law). B/c of
that, I've trained my body to shut down around 2:00am b/c once
alkiehall is cut-off, I go home or get late-night tacos in downtown or
detox at some Chinese cafe in Alhambra or Monterey Park. And LA bars/
clubs usually get going around 10:30-11:30pm in anticipation of the
1:30-2:00am cut-off time. Simple concept enough right?

Except in Shanghai, I don't believe "last call" actually exists. So
this poses quite a problem. B/c there's no last call, SH nightlife
doesn't get going til past midnight or so. Even with the time
difference, my body knows when it's time to (2:00am-ish) to call it a
night, but that don't jive out here in the S'hai. So I find myself
often pooping out around 1:30am, right when the nightlife is about to
pop. It's quite a humbling experience; going home Charlie-Brown-sad-
song-style when party-people are still arriving.

Sad clown indeed.

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

$0.58 Haircut

I got a haircut today for 4 kuai, which is less than 60 cents. And
basically I got 4 kuai worth of effort from the barber, who was a
young high school aged kid with some crazy, dyed Asian pop star like
hairdo. I honestly don't think it's that hard to cut my hair, but I
may have been spoiled from my barber back home that I've gone to for
the last 25 years, give or take. I'd tell him make it a zero fade and
take some off the top, and 5-10 minutes later, I'd be outta there.
Here I gotta use my kindergarten Chinese, and attempt to describe what
I want. Basically, I told the kid I want the same style but just make
it shorter.

Next time I go back, I'm going with the Asian David Beckham look that
I sported last summer. It's gonna get hot soon and it's a hell of a
lot easier to describe with my shitty Chinese, so why the heck not?

http://shangbert.blogspot.com

Squatty Potty

I've been to a few clubs here in Shanghai since I got here and when I
was here for a brief time last November. Normally, I only like
clubbing if I'm in Vegas. (I haven't been to Vegas in 3 years, b/c I
don't gamble, so basically I really don't go clubbing all that much.)
Anywhere else, it's just not worth the money or the effort. But every
once in awhile, you get sucked in when your friends say that there's
some open bar dealio for just 50 rmb (approx $7+) and then you find
yourself at some terrible club with terrible music and terrible people
dressed terribly. So like I said, I've been to a few clubs in Shanghai.

If I'm not too intoxicated, I'll notice the decor around me. Some
clubs are designed with an air of luxury and sophistication in mind.
Glass chandeliers, marble floors and countertops, metal stools with
puffy seats, crystal mirrors, velvet couches, impeccably dressed
employees, etc. Then you go to the restroom and all the nice stuff
ends. Unisex restrooms that smell like a combination of fresh poo,
stale piss, and chinese incense. Add insult to injury, the toliets
are squatty potty style.

So my question or rather rhetorical question is "WHY?" Why go to that
much trouble loading up your club with all that nice stuff just to
ruin it with such poor quality restrooms? Would it honestly have cost
that much more to install a few urinals and sit-down toliets rather
than the squatty potties? I just don't understand sometimes. Mark my
words, if I ever open up a bar or restaurant in Shanghai, there will
never be a squatty potty in my establishment.

http://shangbert.blogspot.com